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Dear Mike,
Welcome . . .
Chewin' the Fat is a publication from
The Complete Bear designed for the bear
community. It is published on the 2nd and 4th
Tuesdays of the month.
Chewin' the Fat will offer up the best
of the bear lifestyle - casual, cool, or woofy.
Whatever it takes to complete the bear.
For the bear, his cub and their den . . .
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A Question of Monogamy
When I first started sniffing around bears, a friend
offered some sweeping generalizations about my furry
brethren. It included that golden nugget that all bears
are in open relationships to some degree or another.
Really? All bears? Even the cubs?
As with most sweeping generalizations, you can't
really apply to all. But now, I was curious. Where
exactly did my furry mates weigh in on the subject?
So, I asked.
I got responses from over 400 bears to be exact.
Here's what they told me -
- 37% said "Exclusive one on one - the only way a
relationship will work for me. . ."
- 34% said "An open relationship is cool, as long as
everyone upfront and honest. . ."
- 10% said "We play, but only together - never
alone. . ."
- 6% said "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"
- 6% said "Roll me in honey, and throw me to the
bears. . ."
- 3% said "As long as there are rules - no
sleepovers, no repeats . . ."
This was never a question about right or wrong, but
simply what works for you. And for those who choose
to dabble, it was overwhelmingly about honesty. Yea,
some set up rules like no sleepovers, no repeats,
etc - but what seemed to work is when both parties
were on the same page.
The problem is when there are opposing views - he
wants monogamy and you want all the man flesh you
can find. Is he right? Are you? No - but you have a
problem. If you are a monogamous kinda guy and
lover boy is still playing the field - you're gonna get
hurt.
This is about open and frank dialogue. And even a
little soul searching. Can you live with his choice?
Can he live with yours? I can honestly tell you that
some of the most committed couples I know have
open relationships. And for others, it is never an
option.
Bear Life
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Bumps in the Road
by Buzzed Beef
Greetings Bears! As with any journey, you have to deal
with bumps in the road while enjoying the sights. This
is something I have faced recently. The last two weeks
on my quest have been filled with both positive and
negative experiences. But life is filled with frustrations
and setbacks, we deal with them and we move on.
My training has suffered some during the last two
weeks. Due to short staffing at my job, I was forced to
work additional hours each day and voluntary gave up
a day off. As a result, I was both physically and
mentally exhausted at the end of each day. So tired, in
fact, that I could not bring myself to keep my regular
gym and boxing schedule. I made it to the gym only 4
times and to my boxing class only once in almost two
weeks. This is down from 5 days at the gym and 3
boxing classes each week. I was extremely
disappointed in myself, yes, but these things happen
sometimes...just going to keep plugging away and
resume with a vengeance.
All was not lost, however. Although I engaged in a
reduced workout schedule during those two weeks, I
did experience some positives. By continuing to follow
the diet prescribed to me by my trainer, I have been
able to hold my weight in the same place. I haven't lost
any more, but I haven't gained any either. I have been
able to maintain the 20 lb weight loss. Another stroke
of good fortune is that my muscles are continuing
their 'growth phase'. I have been able to increase the
amount of weight I am lifting each time I work out. The
most significant gain I experienced was during my last
training session performing squats...I was able to
increase my squat weight to 205 lbs. I have also
noticed some increased strength and tightness in my
upper torso as well. My shoulder and back workouts
have helped improve my punching strength and my
pushups in my boxing classes.
All in all, I am pleased with the progress I am making
and where I am right now in spite of the last two
weeks. Everything seems to be working well in
conjunction.
Bear Fitness
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Hunting Bears
Usually, when I see bears in bars or hotels, they
are always in groups. Most of the times they are
laughing and having a very good time. The main
reason why I like them? Because they seem to be
comfortable in their own skin, and what the heck,
because they turn me on! Any advice on how to break
into a group or how to approach a bear?
Heavy: Well forget it if he's in a group setting,
unless you really like challenges and entertaining
people. Your attempts will be fodder for years to come
and you never know if Huzbear is among the crowd. If
the target of your affections should breakaway from
the group - say to go off to dance on his own or does a
bar lap - then he is approachable.
Hot: And once you have Mr. Woofy's attention,
just be you. Be polite and don't grope uninvited. Often,
bears are just as afraid as you are. "Gee, I never
thought a cute guy like you would like a big, ole bear
like me . . ."
Heavy: And if you are not good in public
settings, try a personal ad. Many bears love chasers,
all you have to do is put it out there.
Hot & Heavy
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Sleep Apnea:
A Common Sleep Disorder Affecting the Bear Community
By Barry Aneda
What is Sleep apnea? Sleep apnea is a sleep
breathing disorder that causes severe sleep
deprivation by interrupting sleep and collapsing the
windpipe. This occurs because of a build up of extra
tissue in the neck area from weight gain. Men tend to
gain weight in their neck and have thicker, heavier
necks. When we fall asleep our muscles relax
throughout our body. When our throat muscles relax
the weight of the neck, along with attempting to inhale
causes the windpipe to collapse and become
blocked. When this occurs the individual must wake
up to regain his muscle tone in order to open the
windpipe and breathe. This occurs for just about three
seconds before returning to sleep and usually the
individual is unaware of waking. However, some
individuals may have awareness that their sleep is
very restless. They may even wake up coughing from
a dry throat. The number one sign that one may have
sleep apnea is snoring. Everyone that has sleep
apnea snores. However, everyone that snores may
not have sleep apnea. Additionally, if one's neck is
greater than 17 inches then there is a greater risk of
having or developing sleep apnea.
Sleep apnea can be very dangerous as it deprives the
body of oxygen and results in chronic sleep
deprivation and disease if not treated. Symptoms
such as morning headaches, loss of sex drive and a
decline in mental overall functioning (loss of
concentration, memory deficits, etc.) could be signs
that you have sleep apnea. Sleep deprivation clearly
also has an effect on our mood and can lead to
experiencing symptoms of depression and irritability.
This can affect your performance at work and/or your
personal relationships with your partner(s) and family.
Additionally, sleep apnea can put one in a higher risk
category for stroke, hypertension, and heart attack. It
also can suppress the immune system influencing
how efficiently the body fights infection. Thus, sleep
apnea can lead to an increase in one's viral load and
decrease T-cells if HIV positive.
Sleep apnea is a very common sleep disorder and
has been known to cause accidents in the workplace
resulting in lawsuits and personal injury. So if you
believe you are at risk for this sleep disorder, talk to
your doctor or health care professional. Relief could
be just around the corner. We value our Bears. You
deserve it and you are worth it!
Bear Health
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