Bear Bones

Carson Kressley was the MC and came with several outfit changes. The Puppini Sisters were the opening act, and while most of the Pride contingent had not quite made it over the bridge yet – the rest of us were subjected to probably the worst rendition of “I Will Survive” ever staged.  Wanna piss off a gay crowd – dare to mess with a disco diva’s classic.  Ugh!!

Next came Andy Bell of Erasure.  Last year, Erasure came on much later (Vince was there) and there was strobes and disco lighting.  This year it was just Andy in broad day light sans special effect.  He respectfully sang along to a soundtrack.  The crowd was amused and Bell bounced and gyrated around the stage.  It was kinda sad, he looks old and tired.  Which reminds us, we are old . . .

Wanda Sykes was the comic relief.  She talked about gay marriage, working gay cruises and dick soup – well, you had to be there.  My favorite linel of the night were -  "If you don't believe in same-sex marriage, then don't marry someone of the same sex"  and "When do I get to vote on your marriage?"
 

 

Wanda Sykesless)

After the intermission, The B52’s took the stage – well the crowd was ready – most of them had finally made it over the bridge.  And they were not disappointed.  Along with some new tracks off of Funplex – they did Rock Lobster, Roam, and Private Idaho.  We sang along, we bounced, we even gyrated like Andy Bell!!  If Andy Bell made us feel old, The B52’s made us feel like we were back in college and listening to the best party band ever . . .

True Colors Tour 2008 in DC

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And then the Crème de la Crème . . .

Cyndi Lauper took the stage in a giant Statue of Liberty hand – yeah!! She reminded the crowd to vote, she talked about being “friends and family of” and basically kicked ass!

She too was touting a new album – and a new single “Into the Nightlife”  And of course there were all of the standards She Bop, Time After Time, Money Changes Everything, When Your Were Mine, sisters of Avalon, and True Colors.  But she brought the house down with an a cappella version of “I’m Gonna Be Strong.”

Cyndi Lauper - I'm Gonna Be Strong

All in all, it was a fun night. 

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Another year of Frameline is behind us. 

Film is a magic medium.  It allows us to visit distant lands and far away dreams.   As we sit in the dark, we temporarily suspend our realities to become one with the silver screen.  

As we celebrate Marriage Equality and Gay Pride, we can not forget that many of our LGBT brothers and sisters live with daily oppression.  They are either forced to hide or deny their sexuality for fear of violence, imprisonment and shame. We’ve come along way as a community, but we must remember not to leave anyone behind.

Frameline continues to showcase LGBT films and bring us to worlds we may know very little about. There were three films in this year’s festival that chronicled the struggles of gays and lesbians in the Muslim community.  Typically, the films showed the oppression and violence experienced by LGBT members in their own communities.  For example, in All My Life, the story of Rami is set against the 2001 crackdown on gays in Egypt during the notorious Queen Boat arrests.   

However, Parvez Sharma’s A Jihad For Love is different.  Very different.  The title “A Jihad for Love" refers to the Islamic concept of jihad, as a religious struggle. The film seeks to reclaim this concept of personal struggle, as it is used in the Western media almost exclusively to mean "holy war" and to refer to violent acts perpetrated by extremist Muslims. 

Sharma focuses on those who choose to embrace both their religion and their sexuality.  And while this is clearly not an easy path, it has begun to open a discussion between the LGBT and Muslim Communities.  The documentary was filmed in 12 different countries and in nine languages.  Sharma conducted interviews throughout North America, Europe, Africa, Asia and the Middle East. Countries included Saudi Arabia, Iran, Iraq, Pakistan, Egypt, Bangladesh, Turkey, France, India, South Africa, the United States and the United Kingdom.  Many of those interviewed chose to remain anonymous for fear of violence and/or reprisals to their families back home. 

While many in the film don’t expect to see change in their lifetimes, they hope the next generation will find acceptance in the Muslim Community.  This film is schedule for a general release later this summer.

Parvez Sharma interviewed on CNN International live. Watch the clip

Parvez Sharma is blogging at http://www.ajihadforlove.blogspot.com

Resources for the LGBTIQ Muslims

Films that Change the World 

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If you use it, test it . . . 

A new report from Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has found that between 2001 and 2006 gay male sex was the largest HIV transmission category in the U.S. and also the only one which recorded an increasing number of HIV/AIDS diagnoses.

The most affected are gay boys and men between the ages of 13 and 24 years, with minorities even more. The findings were released in this week's issue of the CDC journal Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report. Other factors such as genital herpes could actually double a person’s risk for contracting HIV.

Also, The New York City Health Department’s Bureau of Epidemiology Services issued the results of a survey revealing that 40 percent of New Yorkers with multiple sex partners did not use a condom the last time they had sex. Also about 11 percent (610,000 adults) of them had multiple sex partners, a fact that increased their chance of contracting sexually transmitted infections.

HIV Big Deal is a groundbreaking online video series reinventing HIV prevention for the digital age. The series combines the popularity and interactivity of online video with the power of research-based education methods designed to challenge misconceptions and prompt critical thinking.

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What have you done today to make you feel proud?

“I look into the window of my mind

Reflections of the fears I know I've left behind

I step out of the ordinary

I can feel my soul ascending

I am on my way

Can't stop me now

And you can do the same”

 

 

I wanted to share with you a little of Heather Small’s “Proud.” Everyday, we face challenges. And, everyday we have a choice - we can succumb to our fears and the labels that others try to place on us, or we can go boldly forward. There are plenty of people who are more than happy to tell us we can’t. It is up to you to decide you can!!

 

Heather Small, Proud

 

So I ask you, “What have you done today to make you feel proud?”

Look around. The answers are there.

• Have you decided not to let others define you?
  Be proud of your convictions.
• Have you decided to step off the diet rollercoaster to seek healthier, sustainable choices?
  Be proud of your choices.
• Have you decided to celebrate the beauty that is you?
  Be proud of who you are.
• Have you decided to face your fears and doubts and leave them behind?
  Be proud of your strength.
• Have you stopped living for tomorrow and embraced today?
  Be proud of your courage.

Be proud of every step you take to decide your destiny. And embrace everyday as a chance to make yourself proud. Step out of the ordinary.

What have you done today to make you feel proud?

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The sun was shining, a friendly crowd had gathered at City Hall and inside magic was happening.  Today was the first full day of same sex marriages in California and San Francisco was a great place to experience it.

I’ve lived in SF now for 8 years and the nice thing about going to a LGBT event like this is seeing “family.”  While I didn’t know anyone getting married today (the first marriage that we are invited to is Saturday) – I knew the supporters.  Of course, I ran into City Supervisor Bevan Dufty, all aglow with his baby.  Later, Fernando (Host of the Energy 92.7 Morning Show – the first openly gay radio morning show).   Fernando and I shared a table this year at IBR.

I also ran into Mike Farrah of the Mayor’s Office.  Mike was dressed to the nines and carrying a bouquet.  And while this is SF, seeing Mike with a bouquet was a little odd (ok, Mike is a straight, married neighbor of mine and he was delivery a bouquet to a happy bride).  I asked Mike where the Mayor was. He replied that Gavin was in his office officiating ceremonies for friends and family.  He was avoiding the media spotlight, because today was about the couples.

I made my way outside and just took it all in.  Happy couples emerged from City Hall to the applause of the crowd.  Same-Sex Wedding Album

All in all - it sure was a nice day to get married . . .

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In a 4-3 decision, the justices rule that people have a fundamental 'right to marry' the person of their choice and that gender restrictions violate the state Constitution's equal protection guarantee

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According to a recent national survey conducted by Harris Interactive^®, gay and lesbian adults online are reading more blogs than their heterosexual counterparts. When asked, just over half (51 percent) of the gay and lesbian respondents reported reading some type of blog, compared to 36 percent of heterosexual adults. A similar question on blog readership also was asked in November 2006, and at that time 32 percent of gay and lesbian adults then reported reading blogs.

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This year’s Day of Silence will be held in memory of Lawrence King, who friends say was murdered in a California school February 12 because of his sexual orientation and gender expression. The event brings attention to anti-LGBT bullying, harassment and discrimination in schools. Students observe the day in silence to echo the silence LGBT and ally students face every day.

Founded in 1996, the Day of Silence® has become the largest single student-led action towards creating safer schools for all, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression. From the first-ever Day of Silence® at the University of Virginia in 1996, to the organizing efforts in over 1,900 middle schools, high schools, colleges and universities across the country in 2002, its textured history reflects its diversity in both numbers and reach.

Many right-wing groups have protested schools supporting DOS.  The list of schools observing the Day Of Silence is mighty, awe-inspiring, and particularly satisfying to see unfurling for page after page on the a right wing's own site. Please write or call these schools and praise their support.

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Husbear and I don't always share the same tastes in music.  His tend towards classic rock, while mine tends towards beats per minute.  So, I don't normally get to cut loose at home.

However, today husbear was away with family stuff, and I was home being domestic - never pretty. 

So, I crank up the iPod and set about day.  Hmm, show tunes?  Nah.  Britney remix? Oh please!

OMG - Hazel Dean.  1984 - Searchin' - Big Shoulder Pads - A gay ole' trip down memory lane.  And then it's a slippery slop from there . . .  Enjoy!

Natalie Cole - Dangerous

 

 

  Taffy - I Love My Radio (U.S.A. Remix)

 

 

  Bronski Beat - It Ain't Necessarily So

 

 

eartha kitt: WHERE IS MY MAN?

                                                      

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"If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you, New York, New York"

The Complete bear is honored to be included in Time Out New York's annual gift guide - right under the Hillary Clinton Nutcracker!!

 

Maine Bear pottery (thecompletebear.com, $18–$100)
Has someone been eating your porridge, furry friend? Next time, make sure you serve it in a handmade salt-glaze bowl that bears the unmistakable ursine marker. Mugs, plates, creamers, platters and canisters let hirsute hunks mark all the grub they’ve hunted and gathered.

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Lions and Tigers and Bears and Dykes and Trannies and Rosie O'Donnell . . .  OH MY!

Husbear and I made our way to Berkeley for Cyndi Lauper’s True Colors Tour.  This is a big deal because we rarely cross the bridge.  Woo Hoo - road trip.  OK, it was more 30 minutes in traffic.

Cyndi Lauper, Erasure, Deborah Harry, Dresden Dolls, Margaret Cho and our favorite bear of all time – Rosie O’Donnell!  The crowd was great – young, old, gay, lesbian, trans, queer, bears, dykes, butch, fem – very cool.  We ran into a couple of friends, but we rarely get to spend a night out together with our busy life, so we ventured off by ourselves.  There was eye candy and fashion victims for days. 

As we made our way inside, the Dresden Dolls were already playing and we caught the last 3 numbers.  Husbear liked them, and they sort of reminded me of an edgy Tori Amos. 

Margret Cho filled in between acts as MC.  “Oh My God, she is so thin . . .”   I thought I had a lot of clothes - you know the remember when jeans (that I keep dreaming I’ll get back into), my current size, and the winter hibernation wear (you know the slightly bigger sizes you’d rather not admit to), but Margeret’s closet must have the entire collection from the Kate and Ashley Anorexic Line to Rosie’s Big Girl WalMart Line.

Speaking of Rho, she was great.  She proudly proclaimed “Real women weigh over 200 pounds!”  The crowd ate it up (pun intended!).  On a recent Larry King Show, she noted the Trump and King discussed how they didn’t find her sexually attractive – “Imagine my disappointment . . .”  She also expounded on the joys of stretch pants. 

Deborah Harry was pushing a new album and only did new songs.  WTF?  If you haven’t had a hit in over 20 years, you can pretty much guess we are not here to hear the “new stuff.” 

But Erasure and Lauper knew the rules and there were plenty of trips back to the 80’s.  Andy Bell couldn’t have been gayer.  Honestly, the man is way gay - he danced, he skipped, he pirouetted - throw in a laser light show and you are definitely over the rainbow.

Cyndi Lauper topped off the evening.  “How Ya Doin’?”  She talked about Rho (they’re buddies apparently) she played guitar (who knew?) and she pretty much covered the “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” album (Note to Deborah Harry – this what you do, you play songs we can sing along to, it makes us happy).  And Cyndi reminded us this was a HRC sponsored event – had we somehow not noticed the giant HRC banners.  She also acknowledged PFLAG, The Matthew Shepard Foundation and made a plea for us to write our legislators about The Matthew Shepard Act which includes LGBT protections in pending legislation on Hate Crimes.  Music and a social conscieousness - it was a gay event!

The finale was all the acts coming together to sing True Colors. 

We had a gay ole time.

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Team Bear has joined 2,300 other riders on a journey down the California coast.  The riders are expected to raise $11 million to continue the fight against AIDS and HIV.  The money goes to the San Francisco AIDS Foundation and the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center for prevention and treatment of AIDS, which afflicts an estimated 151,000 Californians.

The ride to LA is about 545 miles and includes plenty of “hills.”  Some days are tough, especially if your butt (and knees and thighs and. . .) still hurt from yesterday’s ride.  But, nothing compares to the view at Morro Bay.

We wish all the riders a safe journey.  We are proud you.  You guys (and gals) rock!!  WOOF!!

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Last year, over 130 bloggers participated, including lesbian moms, gay dads, adult children of LGBT parents, members of the transgender community, LGBT individuals without children, and straight allies. Countries represented included the United States as well as Australia, Canada, and the UK.

We want to hear your stories.  Tell us about your family.  The trials and tribulations of being a parent.  The obstacles you've overcome, the untold joys.  As our bear community grows, so does the definition of family. 

Need a little inspiration, check out these stories . . .

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This is a repost from last year, but I thought you might like it . . . 

This past weekend was Dore Alley.  For those of you out of the area, Dore Alley is an annual leather street festival that features mild to wild, with everything in between.  My business partner recently broke her ankle and attended the event in a wheelchair – which you may be interested in knowing is about at cock level – “You might want to put some sunscreen on that . . . .”

The next day, I was driving to work listening to the radio and the local gay radio jocks were bitchin’ about Dore Alley.  “It’s stuff like that that sets back the gay movement.  Don’t they know that the media loves that kind of stuff, which hurts our chances with gay marriage . . .” According to these two (who will remain nameless), we are supposed to be respectable and passable. 

WHAT?

Ok, so I nearly drove off the road yelling at my radio (which is not as productive as you would think).   These are the types of gay men who scare me.  The whole idea of acceptance is accepting oneself for who you truly are and not being defined by the media or political agendas or simply by others.  It’s about living life on your own terms.

And to borrow heavily from the Laurel Thatcher Ulrich quote – Well-behaved gays seldom make history.  Those that could fit in have always retreated to the safety of their closets.  Let us not forget - Stonewall was a bunch of pissed off drag queens. 

So, you are going to tell me what is acceptable gay behavior?  Oh No Miss Thing – You did not go there!!  Once you start to define “the norms” by which I am supposed to live – you’ve started down a very slippery slope.  I don’t what to be acceptable; I don’t need to “pass” as straight and I surely don’t need you to tell how to act.

Am I threatening our chances for gay marriage?  Well - if I am, then I don’t want it on those terms.  “If you promise not to act gay . . .” Marriage is a right afforded to most couples in our country and I as a citizen deserve that basic right.  I am not a second class citizen, and no “straight” couple has to adhere to guidelines on what is acceptable “straight” behavior.

So, I will continue to be different.  I may be the 7 foot tall drag queen in stiletto heels and I will get media coverage - because I am fabulous and I am interesting.  Why don’t “average” folks get the media spotlight – Well, because you’re not interesting, you are average.  So, we are officially putting the gay community on notice – We will not be clones.  We will wear leather - We will be a bears - We will wear drag - We will be Dykes on Bikes - We will be tranny kids - but we will not try to pass just to fit in.

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Ah, domestic bliss. Sharing your life with that one true love. You know the one who slurps his morning coffee, leaves towels on the floor, and let's not even talk about the hair in the drain. It must be love, otherwise you'd kill him.

We want to hear your stories. Civil marriage, domestic partnership, whatever it's called where you live. The coming together of two souls.

Separate is never equal. We believe all couples deserve the right to publicly declare their love for one another, and all the protections that marriage affords. Click here to view the list of 1138 rights provided under marriage.

Tell us your stories, show us your pictures, and send cake!!! Damn, we love cake - LOL.

Oh yea, and by the way. I am not wearing that lime green taffeta dress with the giant bow on my ass . . . again!! It makes my butt look big!!

Celebrating Marriage 

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Kinderen voor Kinderen song - Two Fathers 02:57 Terrence has two fathers (English subtitles). Maybe there will come a time when it’s not about gay rights.  A time when it’s not about judgment.   A time when it's about being a child.  When it’s about being loved by two parents. When family isn't simply about one from Column A and one from Column B.

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We have amazing buying power.  We can throw it away, or we can harness it and effect change. 

Do the companies you buy from support diversity in the workplace?  Do they make political contributions to candidates that oppose marriage equality?  Do they extend partner benefits to all their employees?  If these issues are important to you, then spend wisely.

LGBT owned independent businesses return a percentage of each dollar you spend back to our community. For example, bear businesses put that dollar back into the community through bear runs, bear media, and contributions to local non-profit organizations and political organizations.

By supporting these businesses, you insure that they - along with the diversity they provide - don’t disappear.      

But I can get it cheaper somewhere else - It's time to consider the real costs to our community when we lose our LGBT business base. Independent LGBT businesses employ members of the community, who in turn shop in our community. 

They also retain the services of LGBT service providers.  They hire gay architects, lesbian graphic designers, and bear-owned contractors for construction.   The multiplier effect creates opportunities for LGBT accountants, insurance brokers, computer consultants, attorneys, and advertising agencies.

Ensuring Choice and Diversity - A local LGBT shop may have a smaller selection than a big chain outlet.  But remember, it sources products for its target audience, thus creating a demand for specialized merchandise.  This makes accessible controversial products or services from new vendors with the expectation that there will be a market somewhere within a variety of stores.

Our freedom of choice is imperiled when we grant a limited amount of corporate buyers the power to choose what reaches consumers.  This may be only mildly disturbing for most consumer goods, but truly frightening when you consider the impact on our choice of news sources, books, music and other modes of expression for the LGBT community.   

Investing in Our Community – LGBT business owners invest much of their life savings in their businesses.  They have a natural interest in the long-term health of the community. Community-based businesses are essential to charitable endeavors, frequently serving on local boards, and supporting a variety of causes important to our community.

LGBT business leaders understand the challenges faced by community members.  They have walked in their shoes.  With a passionate commitment to diversity, they advocate to ensure all of their customers get treated with respect and dignity. 

YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE WITH A FEW SIMPLE STEPS

• Make a decision to find and patronize LGBT-owned business, whenever possible.
  
• Dine at a local, independent LGBT-owned restaurant and treat yourself to a unique and personal dining experience.
  
• When you shop online, look for LGBT businesses.
  
• Use the Member Directory or Search Box of your local LGBT Chamber of Commerce to find businesses offering goods or services to our community.   
  
• Tell your associates, family, and friends to support these businesses, as well. 

 

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El viernes pasado, 23 de marzo, sucedió algo sumamente histórico y conmovedor en la Ciudad de México: la unión de dos parejas lesbianas en la delegación de Iztacalco. Este acontecimiento es uno de muchos que se empiezan a realizar en el DF después de cinco años de organización, luchas políticas y manifestaciones por parte de la comunidad lésbica-gay quien consiguió la aprobación de la “Ley de Sociedades de Convivencias” por la legislatura capitalina en noviembre del 2006. Esta ley reconoce la unión de dos personas, tanto bugas como de ambiente, y les otorga algunos derechos y obligaciones semejantes a los que gozan los matrimonios, pero no todos. Los derechos de esta unión incluyen la herencia y/o transferencia de propiedad y pensiones, el acceso a seguros médicos de las parejas, la participación en decisiones de cuestiones medicas entre parejas, etc.

On behalf the staff of The Complete Bear, I want to personally welcome all of our furry friends from around the world to the 13^th International Bear Rendezvous.  

One of America’s “Gayest” cities awaits you.  From the Golden Gate Bridge to the Historic Castro Theatre to The Lone Star Saloon, we hope you enjoy your stay.  San Francisco offers a diverse offering of fabulous restaurants and eateries, unique retail stores you won’t find anywhere else in the world and probably the on Starbuck’s in the world commonly referred to as “Starbears.”

We appreciate your decision to hold your event here in San Francisco.  Thanks to the support of groups like the Bears of San Francisco, we are proud to the “gay friendliest” city.  We are also honored to be the home of the fist publicly traded LGBT Corporation – Planet Out (NYSE:LGBT).  We recently celebrated the third year anniversary of Mayor Newson’s decision to grant the right marriage to all.  And trust us when we say that fight is far from over.

We hope you take some time while in our city; cruise the Castro, take a steam in Berkeley and nibble some chocolate at Ghirardelli’s.  Once you do, we think you’ll agree with Rudyard Kipling , "San Francisco has only one drawback. ''Tis hard to leave."

WOOF!!

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Freedom to Marry Week
10th Annual Observance
February 11-17, 2007

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We remember those we have lost to this devastating epidemic.

We demonstrate compassion for all of those who live with HIV/AIDS everyday.

We struggle and search for effective treatment options, vaccines or cures.

We educate and advocate awareness around HIV and AIDS.

We will continue to fight until there is either a cure or treatments options that are effective,

non-toxic and affordable to all.

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