Where do you fit in?
Our readers respond. . .
Do you identify with main stream gay society? Are you more at home in the bear brotherhood without all the trappings of the muscle boys and A listers? Or are you a square peg trying to find a hole?
Here's what you told us -
"A square peg trying to find a hole" - classic. While not desperately seeking that hole, this square peg has been so distant from mainstream society (gay and otherwise) that I wouldn't know Will or Grace if either asked me to dance (yes, I know referencing W&G is five years ago, but I am at a loss for what is mainstream today).
Don't want ot be a peg (round or square) in anyones preconceived hole (although I love to be in a hole as much as possible). Enjoy the closeness of Bears in general, but not necessarily the organized Bear scene. Like it one on one, or with a smaller group of trusted friends where fraternity and a nonjudgmental attitude prevail. Give me a couple of good friends I can be myself with, sunshine on my naked skin, and a big cigar to smoke and I'm a happy camper.
I am definitely more at home with the Bear Brotherhood, or at least the ideal of the Bear Brotherhood, which fortunately, is what I have experienced for the last few years being in a gay/bear/social atmosphere for the first time in my life. However, I hate seeing how the mainstream Bear community in some ways has become just another way to exclude others who dont fit yet another ideal look or attitude or amount of masculinity. In my mind, the Bear community IS and SHOULD BE about men existing as they naturally are, because, lets face it...the majority of gay men ARE just 'regular guys', not skinny beautiful hairless young men. I thought the Bear community was started for men who didn't fit into the gay mainstream...I think it should be that and IS that... not who has the perfect beard, chest hair, muscles and/or husky-ness, or amount of masculinity.
I am not a hairy man, but I feel at home with the Bears. Everyone I have met and spent anytime with seems normal and happy. The "Bear Brotherhood" is accepting, not spending time trying to make you look or be a certain image. Too, I enjoy the whole concept of just being men. We sweat, we have hair, we stink etc.... Thats what men are and do. So, lets all get naked and do what men do with some gusto and no apologizing for sweating and stinking while we do it.
Do you identify with main stream gay society? Are you more at home in the bear brotherhood without all the trappings of the muscle boys and A listers? Or are you a square peg trying to find a hole? Here's what you told us -
"A square peg trying to find a hole" - classic. While not desperately seeking that hole, this square peg has been so distant from mainstream society (gay and otherwise) that I wouldn't know Will or Grace if either asked me to dance (yes, I know referencing W&G is five years ago, but I am at a loss for what is mainstream today).
Don't want ot be a peg (round or square) in anyones preconceived hole (although I love to be in a hole as much as possible). Enjoy the closeness of Bears in general, but not necessarily the organized Bear scene. Like it one on one, or with a smaller group of trusted friends where fraternity and a nonjudgmental attitude prevail. Give me a couple of good friends I can be myself with, sunshine on my naked skin, and a big cigar to smoke and I'm a happy camper.
I am definitely more at home with the Bear Brotherhood, or at least the ideal of the Bear Brotherhood, which fortunately, is what I have experienced for the last few years being in a gay/bear/social atmosphere for the first time in my life. However, I hate seeing how the mainstream Bear community in some ways has become just another way to exclude others who dont fit yet another ideal look or attitude or amount of masculinity. In my mind, the Bear community IS and SHOULD BE about men existing as they naturally are, because, lets face it...the majority of gay men ARE just 'regular guys', not skinny beautiful hairless young men. I thought the Bear community was started for men who didn't fit into the gay mainstream...I think it should be that and IS that... not who has the perfect beard, chest hair, muscles and/or husky-ness, or amount of masculinity.
I am not a hairy man, but I feel at home with the Bears. Everyone I have met and spent anytime with seems normal and happy. The "Bear Brotherhood" is accepting, not spending time trying to make you look or be a certain image. Too, I enjoy the whole concept of just being men. We sweat, we have hair, we stink etc.... Thats what men are and do. So, lets all get naked and do what men do with some gusto and no apologizing for sweating and stinking while we do it.