And you wonder why there aren’t more bear maulings . . .
Hmm, I must have a friendly face because you wouldn’t believe the things people say to me. They probably don’t mean any harm, but . . . (Hint – When speaking consider engaging brain before opening mouth).
I was at an event last night when I was approached by a guy in his late 30’s or so – I’d say 5”11 170 lbs or so. “John said you have a bear site,” was his opening line. We exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes, he was disappointed we didn’t make porn, and basically it was small talk until . . . “Isn’t being a bear just an excuse for being fat?” he asked. The fur on the back on my neck stood straight up!! “Excuse Me?” “Well you know- they become bears, so they can eat whatever they want.” Ugh, I hate small talk.
He had known me for all of 5 minutes or so and according to my new friend a) all bears are fat and lazy, b) it’s simply a matter of self control when it comes to weight and size and c) we like being critiqued by strangers at cocktail parties. And you wonder why there aren’t more bear maulings . . .
I’m a big guy and like Oprah – I have tried every diet that has come along - Cabbage Soup, Atkins, Mediterranean, South Beach, eating meat but not swallowing – no, wait that wasn’t a diet. I have run a marathon, I have completed 5 AIDS rides and yes – I even darken those doors of the local gym. And, yes I am still a big guy.
Somewhere along the way, I realized this is my body. It’s not perfect, but it’s done right by me. Being healthy is not about measuring body fat. It’s about acceptance and happiness. It’s about healthy self-esteem.
And now the bear part. My new friend had incorrectly assumed that one decides to be a bear and then get big. Many larger guys connect with the bear community because it’s a place of acceptance. It’s a place to fit in and be appreciated the way you are. Yeah, I know it’s not perfect – we don’t all get along. We form our own cliques – just like any other group. But in general, it’s a warm, furry community of men – big, small, hairy, whatever – who love and support one another.